Loved by You (Taken by You Book Three) Page 13

  “Oh be quiet, Earl. The boy can drink what he wants,” my mother said, defending me like usual.

  I kept to myself, sipping on my drink when it came, using the alcohol like a crutch to keep myself sane. I think things would be much better if I could just visit my mother.

  We ordered our food and I got the fish tacos, extra spicy. Penny did the same, sans spice, and my mother pointed out how cute it was that we were ordering the same thing. She said she and my father used to be like that as well and always had to sit next to one another in booths and share all their food. I wondered what went wrong there. Obviously something major did.

  As we sat waiting for our food, though, something—someone, rather, came up in the conversation out of nowhere. My heart dropped and I felt sick, a sour taste in my mouth. I knew it wasn’t her fault, with her mind drifting and all, but I couldn’t help feeling a bit anxious and scared as my mother mentioned her name.

  “How’s Lillian doing these days?” she asked.

  I hadn’t said that name, let alone thought about it in years. It was her name—the name of the woman who changed me forever. It was a secret and a curse that I hadn’t even told Penny about, and I was very open with her. I could see the look on my father’s face, one I didn’t see often, as he gave me a bit of an “I’m sorry” expression. He knew what she said was out of bounds, but I couldn’t be mad at her. It wasn’t her fault.

  “Who’s Lillian?” Penny asked.

  “His girlfriend,” my mother said, as her mind must have drifted years back into the past.

  Lillian had met my mother before, and the two of them surprisingly had hit it off to the point where my mother was determined to see us married. At that time it was great, and I thought we would get married, but the walls all came crashing down before I could even try to repair them.

  I shook my head no to Penny as my mother ate some food and I tried to keep myself from sweating any more. Penny had an absolute look of bewilderment on her face.

  “They aren’t together anymore, remember?” my father said, with his arm around my mother. “It’s been a few years since that happened. Okay?”

  “It has? What happened? I like her,” my mother said, with a glaze over her eyes that I couldn’t be angry with.

  “She did some bad things, Mom. How about you eat your lunch and we’ll talk about it later, okay?” I asked.

  “Okay, Blakey,” she said with a smile, going back to her meal.

  “Tell me about it later?” Penny whispered in my ear.

  I nodded yes, but in my heart I was furiously shaking my head no. I didn’t want to talk about Lillian for a very good reason. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to tell Penny or that I didn’t trust her, it was just that it was painful to sit here and relive that experience. I knew that I was going to have to, though, and I wasn’t sure I could fully prepare myself.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Penelope

  I was quite curious about Blake and Lillian later, though I could tell he was very uneasy about it. I knew it was likely a sore subject for him, and that she’d hurt him or something, but I didn’t think he had anything to be embarrassed about. He seemed like he thought I’d care, or that I’d be mad at either him or his mom even though I had no reason to be. We all have shitty exes, though by the way Blake had mentioned her in the past and even the way his dad stopped his mom, I was beginning to think their breakup was very bad.

  Blake was fairly silent the rest of the day while we were out. His mother came to and didn’t even remember bringing anything up. Well, nobody asked her or reminded her, but she didn’t talk about the subject any longer and she knew who I was again, and that he wasn’t dating some girl named Lillian. That was enough for a good assumption.

  We went and saw a movie together, some comedy. As I looked over at Blake while holding his hand, he didn’t seem like he was watching or enjoying much of the movie. His eyes were on the screen, but it was like they were on autopilot and he was just looking forward while his brain was doing something completely different. Did this woman really have that much of an effect on him that bringing her up or even saying her name would haunt him this much? It was sad to think about, but I guess Blake was kind of a different guy.

  The movie let out and as the lights came on, Blake snapped out of his funk and took a deep breath in through his nose before looking at me.

  “Okay?” I asked as we stood up.

  “Yeah, I’m great,” he replied, leaning in and giving me a peck on the forehead.

  I brought the collar of my coat up to my mouth as we walked outside into the blinding white snow. The wind ripped against my cheeks and forehead as we shuffled through the parking lot. I could almost feel my face freezing so hard I was sure I was going to get frostbite. I definitely didn’t miss that about the open Midwest plains.

  The SUV was like a beacon in the snow as the glossy black exterior contrasted perfectly in the white parking lot. The seat warmers instantly turned on as Blake turned the key in the ignition and the air started to blow, albeit cold. We pulled out before anyone else left and made our way back to their house.

  I checked the weather app on my phone as we drove back and saw that a storm with three to five inches was pulling through town. I didn’t say anything, instead keeping quiet, as the mood was already quiet and filled only with the sound of the blowing wind outside.

  Nobody was walking on Blake’s street as we pulled onto it and up to his parents’ house. Blake parked as far up the driveway as possible before we all got out and quickly walked up to the front door, where a flyer was stuck to the doorknob for some kind of neighborhood party. Earl pulled it off before unlocking the door and letting us all pile in.

  “That’s better,” Wendy said as she stomped the snow off of her boots on the front mat.

  The furnace was on, and as Wendy pressed the thermostat up one degree I felt the warmth against my cheeks and the tip of my nose. The blood was rushing all over my face, the almost frostbitten edges of my skin starting to feel incredibly warm even though they were still a little cold to the touch.

  I was hoping that the storm wouldn’t hold us back too much in terms of things to do. We left the day after tomorrow, and I wanted to get to know Wendy and Earl more, even if they weren’t the most outgoing or personable people I’d ever met. They were Blake’s parents, though, and that was enough of a reason to me to try to make an effort. Besides, I didn’t know the next time I’d get a chance.

  “I think I’m going to make some cocoa. Would anybody else like some?” Wendy asked.

  Blake and Earl said yes, and I got up and offered to help her in the kitchen. She kindly accepted, and I went to the cupboard she pointed to and pulled out the mix and marshmallows as she got the mugs ready. It was just the kind you mix with hot water, nothing special.

  “I’d really love to see any photo albums you have. I know you showed me one the other day, but I’m not sure if you have any more,” I said.

  “Oh, we have tons! We can look at the pictures while we drink our cocoa. It’ll be fun,” Wendy said with a big smile.

  Using an office-type water jug they had in the kitchen, Wendy pressed the red button and filled the mugs with hot water before handing them to me and letting me fill them with the powder and mix them up. The mugs were rather large, enough for a few standard-sized marshmallows, so I dropped a few in each one and took them to Earl and Blake.

  “What are you going to do?” Blake asked.

  “Look at some old albums with your mom. Hopefully I’ll see your little baby butt,” I said, smiling.

  “Oh, Wendy took tons of those photos,” Earl said.

  Blake smiled before I went back and made my cocoa while Wendy rummaged through the front coat closet and pulled out a box. She had two albums in her hands, both of them powder blue but with different designs. We sat down at the dining room table and Wendy put on her glasses.

  “This is the first one,” she said, pushing the other one aside and opening the first
one.

  There was a cornucopia of pictures of Blake as a baby all the way up to a young man and everything in between. They had a good number of pictures of him—more than I thought they’d have, considering how he’d talked about his childhood. They weren’t all smiles; sometimes he had frowns or just mad faces, but it showed another side to Blake that I really didn’t know existed.

  “This is the time we took him to Chicago. Boy, was that a trip! He was so afraid of the big buildings and would stumble on his own feet when he’d look up at them,” Wendy said, laughing a little.

  “They were pretty daunting when I was that young,” Blake said.

  “Here he is at his fifth birthday party,” Wendy said.

  “Is that the guy we saw at Walmart?” I asked, pointing to a kid who looked remarkably similar to him.

  “Aaron? Yeah, that’s him. Unfortunately he was at my party,” Blake said.

  “His mother made him invite all the neighborhood kids so that they wouldn’t feel left out. Stupid, if you ask me, making your kid invite his bully to the party. I don’t even think the brat brought a present,” Earl said.

  “I did it in hopes that it would bring them together and they could be friends. It obviously didn’t work,” Wendy said.

  “It was a good sentiment, anyway,” I said.

  We flipped through the pages with smiles on our faces as I saw pictures of a naked Blake in the tub and him painted up like a rodeo clown. Even though Blake and his parents weren’t the closest of families, it was really great seeing all the memories that they had saved of him. By the way Blake spoke before I got here I was expecting them to have nothing at all. Maybe his perception of them and the truth were a little skewed.

  Not much more happened during the night, as the snow outside had started to pile up and kept us indoors. Wendy cooked a meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and green beans with one biscuit for each of us, as that was all she had left over.

  As the night grew old and Wendy and Earl started talking about hitting the hay, I knew that was my chance to talk to Blake. I’d waited all day, wondering as I tried to think of what could have been so bad about what happened between him and Lillian. I hadn’t a clue about her, but I knew I was about to find out. I just hoped it wasn’t something so bad that I hoped I wouldn’t have ever found out.

  “I can tell you want to talk about it,” he said as he poured us a cup of coffee.

  “Do you blame me?” I asked as I stood at the kitchen bar counter.

  “I’m not sure where to even begin. It happened so long ago and I’ve put it out of my mind for so long that it’s frightening to think about reliving it,” he said.

  “Just start from the beginning. Who even is she?” I asked.

  Blake took a sip of his coffee as the steam billowed upwards and then he took a deep breath.

  “Lillian is somebody I dated a few years back. Actually, she was my only truly serious girlfriend before you, and I wish I’d never even met her. We met after I moved to San Francisco with the dream of starting a company. Like I said, we’d been together for a little while and things were going great—at least to me. I thought I was going to marry her one day, and even though things weren’t amazing in our lives, and we didn’t have much money, we had each other,” he said.

  “That all sounds great,” I said.

  “It was, and I think that was all she wanted. You see, Lillian wasn’t exactly driven, which is funny because I am. Even though we were poor and didn’t have a ton, I dreamt of starting a business—any business, and making it into a success. One day I came up with the idea of the app that would turn into RandomMeetX. I was so excited about it and told her all about my idea and how I wanted to quit my job and put everything into it. She was vehemently against it, and for good reason. I didn’t have the money to put towards it, but I didn’t care. I’d get a loan, venture capital, or anything else as long as it meant getting this started. She didn’t see the dream happening, though. She told me it was a waste of time and money and that I was messing up our future for a hookup and dating app. I told her that wasn’t the case, that I was doing this for us, but she didn’t listen. I should also say that I was a much different person back then as well. I was a pushover, I did everything I was told, and quite honestly I probably wasn’t fully ready to run the type of company I have now,” he said.

  “It sounds like she just didn’t want you to do something you might regret,” I said.

  “That’s just where the story begins, though. So anyway, things became rocky between us. I started the company, but I had to take on part-time freelancing work just to make enough to live. We’d grown distant, and soon one day of silence turned into two, into seven. I tried to make things work, and I tried to make it last, but she just wasn’t having it. What used to be us being affectionate turned into her despising me and thinking I was a loser as I frantically did whatever I could to build and launch this business. I even brought in a friend, a business partner, Ned, to make it happen. No matter what I did, though, nothing ever seemed to be enough. She’d resent me and make fun of me and in turn that made me depressed and unable to do anything with this business I’d pumped so many hours and so many dollars into. After a while of not getting anywhere, Ned’s own finances were running dry and he had to take on part-time work at a restaurant. I was still freelancing, but I could do that anywhere and had no problems there. I’d go to coffee shops and use their Wi-Fi as I worked back and forth between the business and freelancing work for money. I thought Ned was doing the same, but I was dead wrong,” he said.

  I sat on the edge of my seat as I listened to every word Blake said. I felt like I was in a movie, and I wished I had popcorn. The multitude of expressions on his face conveyed more about him than I’d ever seen before.

  “One day I got done early with work and decided to try to surprise Lillian. I’d just gotten finished with a job and had some cash so I bought her some flowers, rented a movie, and got her favorite takeout even though I couldn’t afford any for myself. I didn’t care about eating, though, as long as she was happy and we could finally have a night together like we used to. I took the bus home to the shitty apartment we had and saw the lights on from the street. She was home and I knew I’d be able to surprise her. I snuck up the three flights of stairs to the apartment and unlocked the door with a smile on my face—though that smile would soon be gone. As the door flung open, I saw a sight that will forever be etched into my brain. Ned wasn’t going to some job at a restaurant, instead he was on my bed with my girlfriend. I had no idea how long this had been going on, whether it was that night, all the time he had this new job, or even longer than that. She looked scared at first as he tried to apologize, but I wouldn’t have any of it. I threw the things down on the floor and left the apartment in a hurry. That sparked something in me that night that I haven’t been able to get away from since. My work ethic and control kicked into gear and I feel that I actually started the company that night. Within two weeks I was going live, and from there it grew exponentially. I was lucky that Ned never had any control or stock in the company, and even though Lillian tried contacting me multiple times to get me to talk to her, I didn’t listen. I got on billboards, magazine covers, and even television shows. I had sex with women and used them to my own advantage without giving them the emotion that I’d lost so long ago. I didn’t care about them and I think I wanted to leave them hurt and confused just like I’d been,” he said.

  “Are you still like that?” I asked.

  “No, I’m not,” he said.

  “And why not? Why change all that after what was done to you?” I asked.

  “Because I met you, Penny. You changed my life. You saved me. I know you won’t do the things to me that she did, and I know that not all women are the same. I know I thought that way before, but I don’t think it still,” he said.

  I always had a hunch that something with a woman did all this to him. He’d mentioned her before, but he never really mentioned her in a way that would
give me any answers. I knew that some people would see what he did to other women as cruel, but I thought I understood it. He couldn’t let anybody in. He didn’t let them see his beautiful heart and instead engrossed himself in his work, filling his love life with one-night stands and nothing else. I changed all that, though. I somehow became the person who showed him that those things weren’t enough and that he needed someone there to give him the care he deserved.

  “I know you don’t think that way. I know you really do care about me and that you know I would never do anything to hurt you like that. I know we haven’t always had the healthiest relationship, but that’s all in the past. I only have one question,” I said.

  “What?” he asked.

  “How come your mother knows her so well?” I asked.

  “Oh, that. We’d visited a couple times when we were still in the good phase. She and my mother got along, and they grew to like each other. That all changed when she cheated on me, and now my mother hates her, but I think when she mentioned Lillian she wasn’t quite remembering that,” he said.

  “Just wanted to make sure,” I said, smiling.

  “So yeah, that’s my secret. That’s what I’ve been hiding for so long. It probably sounds stupid right now,” he said.

  “Not at all, Blake. I think you have every right to feel the way you do and I’m just glad that you’ve worked past it and don’t let it control you any longer. You have me now, and that’s all you need to worry about,” I said as I grabbed his hand over the counter and held it firmly.

  Still holding my hand, he walked around the peninsula and gave me a soft kiss, and I could feel my stomach filling with butterflies and fireworks. How did I, a small-town girl from Illinois, get so lucky with such a wonderful man like Blake? He was everything I ever wanted in a man and more, and I knew that we could stand the test of time no matter what. I couldn’t wait to explore those times with him.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO